Someone asked if they can get out service because they wear glasses which (obviously) should be considered a disability.

General Hospital is on and the main plot line is a “relish war.” I forgot how much I love daytime soap operas.

Maybe it’s the vitamin D boost from the sunshine (or the 50,000 IUs twice a week prescribed by my doctor), but this weekend has put me in a great mood.

• Nothing beats a nice compliment. I know the makeup girl at Nordstrom works on commission but I’ll take it.
• Actually enjoying yesterday’s session with my trainer. And it was topped off with another weigh in reflecting a loss which made the day that much better.
• I didn’t let the fact that my extended family is very closed minded and slightly crazy frustrate me. It was nice to just laugh off the ridiculousness and enjoy my nephew’s Communion.
• Finalized dates for a vacation with my parents and two brothers. This should be hilarious.
• I spent this afternoon organizing closets, planning meals for the week and selecting outfits for the week. It’s nice to not feel anxious about these little things throughout the week. Again, why did I resist organization for so long?

The forecast this week is beautiful and I’m looking forward to enjoying every moment.

An email from my sister:

We received this set as a baby gift for Luke.  Are mustaches a thing?  Why? I put this on him because why not but I don’t get it.

This is what happens when you have no social media accounts.  

fastcodesign:

A new app called Moves could be the simplest fitness app ever.

• It lives in your iPhone and tracks your activity in the background, so there’s no separate device to learn how to use or remember to carry (you already have your phone on you at all times).
• There’s no setup: You install it, turn it on, and that’s it.
• And there’s no management, syncing, or any other “interactive” bullshit to forget to do or get bored of and stop doing altogether. You don’t even have to launch it—Moves will simply ding a little summary of your physical activity into your Notifications Center every day, where you’ll end up seeing it regardless of what you’re doing with your phone.

Essentially, Moves gives you no more excuses.

I have a few fitness apps I use for various purposes, but Moves might be an  all-in-one solution.  Looking forward to using this app!  

Slowly (operative word) improving in my attempt to get back into running. I still suck but just a little less.

Successfully meal planned lunch and dinner this week. Why did I resist organization for so long?

Signed up for yoga.

Found a new jam.

It’s finally May!

This song has nothing to do with May, but it popped up in my music shuffle during this morning’s commute and here it is. 

(Source: Spotify)

The amazing Kelly always inspires me with her gratitude posts.  And during one of our “I’m so glad she’s my friend talks,” I took to heart her suggestion of writing down a similar list to help me focus.  Because there is no way I am letting anyone bring me down.   

Right now I am grateful for: The awesomeness of Jason Collins. SUN IN CHICAGO!  A weekend spent roaming around the city with Courtney, Peter, Anneliese and Camden - L-O-V-E that family.  An amazing talk with Courtney about the dreaded 35 and what it all means.  Feeling the benefits of meditation.  A perfect Sunday with these rascals.  

Heading to the mall in matching coats jamming out to The Little Mermaid soundtrack

So many good things this week!

1. I brought dinner to my friend Christine and her family last night. She has been fighting breast cancer for the past eight months, but has remained absolutely amazing during her difficult journey. It was so amazing to see her smile and laugh. And to make plans for the summer. So much hope and love.

2. One of my oldest friends is in Chicago this weekend with her family. We had a quick girls night and it was so good to just see her. We had such a great talk about plodding along on this crazy life journey. More fun today with her awesome family.

3. Kelly and Erin are awesome.

4. I’m off to see my friend and her new baby girl!

5. Volleyball championship tonight!

6. I don’t have to have brain surgery! And I have a great team behind me to accomplish my health goals.

7. TGIF bitches!

It’s a beautiful day, so why don’t I bring back some grey skies and clouds.

The suicide of my father-in-law is not something that I share much detail about with many people.  The reason why, I think, is because two years later I still don’t know what to make of it and it is still affecting the collective us (me and my husband, and his mom and sister) in ways never anticipated or expected.

Thursday will mark two years.  Two years ago, the 25^th was a Monday and the day after Easter.  Two years ago we enjoyed an Arcade Fire show with friends when we received frantic calls that he was missing.  Two years ago on the 26^th I took my mother-in-law to chemo to help maintain some normalcy as we awaited word about him.  Two years ago on a Tuesday I made calls I never expected to make after hearing from local and Metra police.  Two year ago we discovered hundreds of thousands of dollars of hidden debt and assumed responsibility of cleaning up the mess.  Two years ago we were forced to manage others’ health and wellness issues brought on by his action.  Two years ago “life as we know it” ended and this present life – whatever it is – commenced whether we liked it or not.    

Loss is a very difficult and anguishing experience that unfortunately touches everyone.  And it affects everyone in very different ways – the fallout, if you will.  We’ve tried to take the “one day at a time” approach to reconciling past loss with future life.  But these years filled with sadness, grief, hurt, and pain, pain and pain have broken us almost completely.    

I often wonder if he realizes the consequences his action.  I know such thoughts are selfish and not productive or constructive, but I can’t help the wanderings of my mind.  I often wonder – again, selfishly – how different my life may be the next April 25^th.  It’s incredibly scary.     

This week my heart is heavy for a lot of reasons.  Hopefully, with time, there will be levity, but I realize now that it’s back to the “one day at a time” mindset because it’s all I have.

(and cue the Debbie Downer music!)